thedaddycomplex:

Forcing Failure

The boys were told they could test for their yellow-black belt (that’s the yellow belt with a black stripe) in their tae kwon do class. They went for three weeks not practicing and repeatedly telling me they were ready to test.

I thought they weren’t. I thought they needed to practice. But they insisted. So I let them, not because I believed them, but because I felt like they needed to learn a lesson.

They tested during their next class. And they failed in front of all of the other students and their parents. Both of my boys were devastated and near tears.

The instructor gave them four days to practice and then they could try again. On the way home, we talked about what this proved: Without practice and commitment, nothing is learned, nothing is achieved.

I’d tried to tell them that before, but failure proved a better teacher.

They spent the next four days practicing. As I write this, they’re in their class. They test at the end.

I don’t know if they’ll pass. I hope they do. But if they don’t, at least they’ll know what to do next—more practice, more commitment. Because they now know failure is not an end, but a step, a motivator, and sometimes it’s the only teacher to which a child will listen.

We really need more parents to allow their kids to fail and learn from it. Let kids make their own mistakes and find their own initiative.