futureevilscientist:

rnr4ev:

thedatingfeminist:

Our culture really romanticises the idea
of a brooding misunderstood loner who’s an asshole to everyone
but secretly has a heart of gold, so it’s frighteningly easy to meet a guy who treats everyone around him badly and believe without evidence that he has a heart of gold. 

Don’t fall for it.

And a lapse in cruelty is not evidence of kindness.

“A lapse in cruelty is not evidence of kindness”
Bolded because that line is so incredibly important

Don’t forget that mistaking “a lapse in cruelty” for “kindness” is EXACTLY how Stockholm Syndrome works mechanism-wise. (And personally, since all it really requires is a strong power imbalance in the relationship, I believe that there’s a lot of room to apply it in adult abusive relationships and even in abusive parent-child relationships.)

Don’t ever let yourself think that someone is a good person because of something awful they could be doing but are not doing, right now. When in doubt, imagine yourself acting the same way to a friend, and ask yourself if you’d still want to be friends with you.