Kindness is often mistaken for softness and let me tell you, friends….that is a mistake you don’t want to make.
Kind people are not born that way, they do not stumble into it, kind people are forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars…they have steel cores. Throw a punch and you’re going to break your hand.
Kind people are kind because they know firsthand that life isn’t.
I was just talking to someone about this. Kindness isn’t a natural-born trait, it’s a daily choice, so when you call someone kind you’re not praising their personality, you’re praising their effort.
Category: Uncategorized
The problem with saying “women of color” when we’re specifically discussing Black women
“Though Black women and women of color are all groups who have historically been excluded from “feminist” progress, Black women have different experiences than other women of color. For example, according to Bustle in 2017, Black women are killed more frequently than any other race in America. Black women in America are most likely to die while giving birth
because of racism in the medical field. Black women also have to deal
with erasure from movements that they started, specifically people like Marsha P. Johnson in the Stonewall Riots.” by Brooklyn White on @hellogiggles
The problem with saying “women of color” when we’re specifically discussing Black women
The best kind of neighbour
I craved spicy food when I was feeling queasy from my pregnancy, too. OP did a great thing!
english class is just everybody reading a story, saying their headcannons and the professor deciding whether or not we are valid
Trans people obviously aren’t rapists but what about cis men pretending to be trans? I can’t think of any way we could address a solution to that problem, but I imagine if we could, it would be a huge step in making trans people safer and erasing the stereotype.
Keeping in mind that I am cis and don’t know the issue like trans people do, I think the much larger problem is the transmisogynistic view that trans women ARE cis men pretending to be women. If someone is being predatory regardless of gender, wouldn’t they ideally be avoided and possibly expelled from the space they’re in?
It seems this is a problem much better dealt with by having robust communication and procedures for dealing with people in a community who disregard boundaries and make others uncomfortable–and they can be any gender, not just cis men–than by putting trans women under suspicion of being cis male fakers. My understanding in this is limited, of course, so I invite others to share their perspectives and experiences.
Pro-lifers view fetuses as having equal personhood to born children. At the core of the pro-life movement, controlling the woman has nothing to do with it, it’s about protecting the life of a child. Which is why there are so many pro-life women. It’s not rooted in authoritarianism, it’s rooted in the belief that the distinction between an unborn and born person is mostly if not completely arbitrary. But if it were about regulating bodies, pro-choicers would also be pro-drug legalization.
A pregnant person’s body is not an arbitrary distinction. Infanticide is murder and abortion is not because the latter has a justifying reason–the pregnant person’s refusal, for whatever reason, to keep providing their body to the fetus’s survival. Protecting children is an admirable goal but you can’t force people, the vast majority of them women, to give fetuses the use of their organs and to undergo the pain and risk of childbirth.
While I don’t think every person who opposes abortion wants to control women, it’s also disingenuous to say the desire to control women’s bodies has “nothing” to do with anti-abortion beliefs. Anti-abortion beliefs are correlated with sexism (link), and mainstream anti-abortion beliefs have a strong theme of punishing women for having sex. And yes, women can absolutely have internalized sexist beliefs.
It’s also not the best argument to compare abortion rights which protect a person’s bodily autonomy, to drug laws which regulate the public availability of substances deemed to be dangerous. A better analogy would be, if anti-abortion people believe so strongly that a right to life overrides bodily autonomy they should also be okay with compulsory organ donation, or at least blood and tissue donation.
And why the weird silence on the tens of thousands of embryos in fertility clinics being discarded, i.e. killed? Shouldn’t the biological mothers of these children be compelled to implant them in their uteruses and give birth to all of them? Or be made to donate them to anyone who offers to implant them and carry them to term? Or maybe governments could compel people with uteri to implant and give birth, if there are no volunteers. Here’s an idea: We can put people in jail for getting or attempting to get abortions (murder or attempted murder according to anti-abortion people), and then make them implant and carry unwanted embryos to term as part of their, ahem, prison labor.
If anti-abortion people find these ideas horrific, why the arbitrary distinction? Isn’t an embryo in a freezer as much a baby as one in utero?
Shouldn’t forced-birthers also be anti-masturbation? Think of all those millions of unused babies that get wasted whenever a man’s sperm doesn’t get to fertilize a woman’s egg!!! Every time a man jacks off is a mass killing! :O
You compelled me to add this gif
Finn’s birth name is something I didn’t know I needed
It’s what all Finn stans need. Tbh it wouldn’t hurt that I’d be able to search for him without getting Adventure Time or The 100.
@jewishcomeradebot I would die if his birth name were Sam or, though highly unlikely, Moses. A last name, which we would probably get if we get his birth name, would still make him much easier to search anyway. I like the sound of Sam Skywalker!
I’m very confused about what’s wrong with a person not wanting to date a trans person because they have different parts. Is it wrong if a penis or a vagina is a must for some people’s sexual partner? I wouldn’t call someone skinnyphobic if they only wanted to date plus sized-people, or think it’s wrong if armpit hair or a lack thereof is a turnoff. Even people who don’t like dating outside their race… I mean, that’s messed up, but what are you going to do, force them?
There’s nothing wrong with not dating a trans person, which might be motivated by transphobia but is completely your prerogative. What’s wrong is generalizing about trans people. Trans people of the same gender don’t all have the same “parts,” for one thing. If you’re so prejudiced against trans people please don’t date any trans person ever, they don’t want you. What’s wrong is your transphobia, not the fact that you won’t date them.
And like, this idea that trans people are desperate to date cis people and are trying to use social justice rhetoric to make it happen is not only laughably off base, it is a dangerous and violent form of transphobia, especially transmisogyny.
To cis people who say this shit: You’re not all that. You could be the most attractive person to ever live, and spewing this kind of bigotry will turn any self-respecting trans person right off, not to mention most decent cis people. There are no hordes of trans people breaking down your doors trying make you date them. There’s just you, fancying yourself this amazing catch and trying to silence criticism of transphobia by getting super fragile and positioning trans people as would-be rapists–rhetoric that makes trans people acceptable targets of violence, that you KNOW puts them in danger and yet you do it anyway.
Because that’s the goal, isn’t it? The goal is to divert attention from your disgusting bigotry to making trans people even more unsafe, to make them too afraid to date or be sexual or to discuss the hatred of them and their bodies.
I see you. So please, by all means continue to be openly transphobic so the rest of us know whom to avoid.
Signed,
A cis woman.
if trans ppl weren’t desperate to date cis ppl, then trans women would’ve never invented the cotton ceiling or wasted so much time calling us genital fetishists for only being attracted to the same sex.
it’s weird how you guys always go for the argument that trans ppl don’t have the same genital configuration instead of explaining that ppl who aren’t bisexual will still date trans and nb ppl of the sex they’re attracted to. rejecting trans ppl of the sex they’ve never been attracted to isn’t the same as never dating a trans person. lesbians date trans men. het women stay with their mtf spouses. that shit is common.
The cotton ceiling is literally about this exact phenomenon of trans women being excluded as dating prospects because of transphobia. And no doubt there are abusive dipshits who use that to pressure/guilt cis women, but to generalize that to all trans women? Remember how I said what’s wrong is not deciding you won’t date a trans person but generalizing about trans ppl? You’re doing that right here. You’re also disregarding the fact that trans activists themselves have criticized the cotton ceiling and the term no longer has currency, exposing your contention that trans women are inherently rapists for the hateful lie it is.
How each person chooses to identify their sexuality is their business, and if a lesbian dating a trans man continues to identify as a lesbian and a straight woman who stays married to her trans wife still identifies as straight, that’s between them and their partners. Furthermore, straight women have in fact left their marriages after their spouses came out as trans women, so it’s not universally true that straight women stay with their transgender wives–there’s an article where a bisexual woman talks about her wife’s transition and the range of responses to a spouse coming out and transitioning (link). Even women who have always known they were bi and choose to continue the relationship do not have an easy time of it, as she discusses. I have also read of a trans guy’s struggle with his straight boyfriend increasingly losing attraction to him as he presented and passed as more male, a difficult situation for both of them because they love each other very much.
So it’s just not true that all relationships adjust seamlessly to a partner’s transition. Everyone in this situation makes adjustments in their own way, and they are not rhetorical props to use in your facile and false assertion that sexual orientation is always determined by sex assigned at birth.
L.J.'s Obsessions 