I’m not sure what crack some of those kink alpha/omega nuts are smoking, but hey, that racist juice gotta em tripping.
Gaston is meant to be a dumb, funny, sexist parody of Disney princes for kids. It’s a kids movie! I mean, yeah it’s a Walt Disney kids movies so it’s still dark as fuck, but he was meant to be funny. Not some…whatever the fuck some people turned him into.
I mean if you guys are looking for a complete monster who was borderline a rapist and racist, and probably the worst piece of garbage ever to grace the Disney screen, just look at Frollo from the hunchback of Notre Dame… seriously besides having the coolest and most epic villain song ever, dude is freaking Satan.
Seriously, if you can find a worst Disney villain than this, damn. He is like OG evil.
Gaston is more like a sexist dumbass who was trying to keep furries out of his town, which is kind of understandable.
But then again he was played by Wolverine… maybe he was an undercover furry.
And on Broadway he’s just a dork.
But seriously if people are legitimately comparing Gaston to Poe or especially Finn! Then you motherfuckers are crazy.
But here’s a Finnrey AU: Anastasia
And for the Reylows:
Don’t act surprised…we all knew it’d come to this
I will say though that the Kylo Ren Gaston parody songs are the funniest things I’ve ever heard
Thanks to @naemerydae who inspired this sithpost
Y’all Frolo is fucking terrifying. I love the hunchback of Notre Dame so much, I watch it all the time. This dude literally told Esmeralda to surrender herself as a sex slave to him or burn. My girl said “guess I’ll die”.
We stan Esmeralda
Rey pretty much made the same choice. Ren offered to be her teacher, and she knew if she surrendered he would take her off-planet, saving her life. Knowing this she still beat his ass just so she could literally lie down to die with Finn.
Rey Dameron anxiously awaits her brother’s return. When he is nowhere to be found, she flies to Jakku after him. She doesn’t find Poe, but she finds his droid, chasing a man wearing his jacket. The man, who calls himself Finn, explains that he rescued Poe from the First Order only for Poe to die in a crash. Rey is furious but has no time to mourn because her ship is destroyed, forcing her to run with Finn and BB-8 in a junk ship that she recognizes as the one General Leia always told her about: the Millennium Falcon. After escaping Jakku, Rey apologizes for being angry with Finn, since it wasn’t his fault Poe died. Who should they run into next but Han Solo, the owner of the Millennium Falcon! Han recognizes the name Dameron and agrees to help them. But first they have to deal with two gangs Han owes money to. Rey, being more experienced in dogfighting than using a blaster, needs a little help from Finn, but both of them are able to fend off the gangs, thanks to an ingenious plan by Rey to release the rathtars (pretending that that was the plan all along and not something far less reckless.) Chewie is wounded, but Rey has had experience as a pilot since her brother taught her to fly. When they get to Takodana, Finn tries to leave. Rey begs him to stay, if only for the sake of Poe’s memory, but Finn says he’s done all he can and nothing he can do will bring Poe back. Rey and Han have everything covered, they don’t need him. Rey, crushed, watches him leave, then follows voices into the basement, discovering a box with what she recognizes as a lightsaber– but whose? When she touches it, she has a vision and sees a man wielding it. The dark figure he’s battling, the droid he lays his hand on– his robotic hand– make her realize this lightsaber is Luke’s. Realizing she’s tapped into the Force, she realizes just how desperately the Resistance needs the map. She runs off in search of Finn to tell him what she’s discovered, but is captured by Kylo Ren, who takes the lightsaber. Finn hears screaming and sees a vision in the sky of a red flame quenching stars and planets. Finn duels a trooper with a riot control baton using a pole he finds and manages to knock the trooper into a wall, not realizing he used the Force to do so. He sees Kylo Ren’s ship and immediately assumes (senses) Rey’s on it. He goes to D’Qar with the Resistance and finds out Poe is alive! He tells him Poe what happened. The Resistance plans a mission to rescue Rey and destroy Starkiller Base, using Finn’s intel. Meanwhile, Rey escapes. She runs into Finn and Han and goes with them to set charges to weaken the reactor. They witness Kylo Ren murder Han Solo and chase him into the forest to confront him. Rey Force-pulls Luke’s saber from Kylo Ren and duels him, but the saber is knocked from her hand. While Rey defends herself with the Force, Finn picks up the saber and uses it to distract Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren Force-throws Rey into a tree and duels Finn, wounding him. Rey comes to Finn’s rescue and picks up the saber, dueling Kylo Ren and wounding him. She goes to Finn’s lifeless body and Chewie picks them up in the Falcon. The medics tend to Finn while Poe promises his sister he’ll look after him. Rey Dameron flies off in the Falcon to find Luke Skywalker in hopes that he will help her understand her abilities more fully and restore hope to the fight.
PS– this AU means Poe would be Finn’s brother in law when Finn and Rey end up together, which Finn would be ecstatic about.
L.J.: Also anon submitter has said Rey would be a Latina in this AU. I nominate María Mercedes Coroy (link).
By popular request…
finn: [oh shoot here comes rey be cool be cool] rey: so, finn… finn: what’s up? finn: [nailed it] rey: i was wondering… finn: [what does that face mean? why is she flushing it’s like 60 degrees on this ship she lives in the desert] rey: um… finn: [i love her voice, I could listen to her talk all day] rey: i was wondering… ah… finn: yes rey finn: [i’ve never seen her so red. oh no is she mad at me??? shoot i can’t read facial expressions all my peers wore helmets help] rey: i… finn: [oh shoot did she forget what she was going to say? maybe she won’t be mad at me she can’t remember what she’s mad about. what is she doing with her lip? wait maybe she’s not mad at me. she seems very anxious, is she upset? does she need a hug? she’s giving off signals i think she’s going to hug me right now. ok finn spread your arms out just a bit so she can slip into them. here it comes] rey: i was wondering… about your friend poe. finn: [ohhhh that’s what she was wondering about. wait does she still need a hug? no snap out of it finn just because rey looks at you like that doesn’t mean she wants to fall into your arms and never leave, you’re projecting, that’s what YOU want. focus.] finn: what about him finn: [does she want to know what planet he’s from? what conditioner he uses? if he’s gay? shoot crap I don’t know any of that stuff] rey: yeah, um… could you like, maybe… finn: [come on rey say it i would literally do anything for you TELL ME HOW TO SHOW MY LOVE TO YOU WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO] rey: could you set me up with him? finn: […] finn: [what did she just say] finn: [does she have a crush on poe] finn: [i knew she was looking at him dang it why is my best friend so sexy] finn: [calm down finn. this is good. you’re happy for them. your two best friends are getting together. that’s amazing.] finn: sure i can set you up finn: [you’re happy for poe. you’re happy for poe. you’re happy for] *later* finn: so poe my friend rey was asking about you poe: that girl i met like twice? the one you talk about all the time? finn: yeah um so apparently she wants to go out with you poe: she does? um ok i guess that makes sense, she knows i’m like 32 though right finn: and gay right poe: what finn: nothing finn: … finn: anyway she’s over there poe: um ok i’ll go talk to her you sure about this finn: haha yeah of course haha poe: dude you laugh weird
This was inspiried by @lj-writes incredible meta about Finn being immune to the Force.
Now of course this could simpy be an anomaly in the Force but I’m not a fan of “that’s simply how it is”, so I couldn’t help but connect this to the overall story and to a headcanon I’ve tried to somehow connect Finn to for a while.
First: I LOVE Jakku – much unlike Finn. 😀 One thing I love in particular are the dead-enders, why they are seemingly insane and what they might be guarding.
We know, even thanks to TLJ LOL, that the First Order was looking for Force sensitive children and paid huge prices for them. But what for? A secret army? The only other Force sensitive beings we know of who are somehow connected to the FO right now are the Knights of Ren and they are Luke’s former students who joined Kylo. Of course it’s possible there are more of them now but I keep wondering if the FO wanted to do a little more with these children than train them.
And here’s where my favorite Jakku theory comes in. There indeed is/was a secret Imperial Base on Jakku. In my headcanon it’s obviously connected to the Emperor’s original plans. In his need to control the Galaxy he started an experiment on Jakku that, if successful, would increase the Force powers of regular people to insane degrees to the point they could control physical matter entirely and alter reality. Obviously the experiment never worked, so the base essentially contained the machinery for a failed experiment. Since Jakku wasn’t, as originally planned, destroyed this set up stayed in place.
Flash foward a few years… Snoke decides to continue the Emperor’s plans but succeed this time. This includes the experiment. So the FO start kidnapping and buying not just children for the Stormtrooper program but also specifically Force sensitive children to build an army but also to continue the experiment. So they return to Jakku and begin to further develop the experiment, so that it works this time. Of course Snoke’s final goal is to make it safe and then use the devices on himself. However the experiment is extremely dangerous and it’s calculated that only people with a very high Midichlorian count can even surivive it, especially in the beginning stages. So the FO begin to kidnap and collect children with the highest Midichlorian numbers. This also explains Snoke’s interest in Kylo. He’s meant to be his final test subject before he transforms himself. Of course all test subjects who complete the experiment successfully are meant to be killed because the risks of just one of them turning against Snoke are too high.
Finn and Rey – whoever she is could be up for debate, you know what my take would be – are part of a group of children the First Order wants to use for the experiment. While the experiment is being set up something goes horribly, horribly wrong. The FO personal loses control of the machines, everything sort of implodes and the entire energy created by them gets released into the surroundings. Most of the people there die, including the children. The only survivors are the dead-enders, Finn and Rey. The dead-enders who up to that point were FO officers who had been guarding the entrance of the base lost most of their memories, are injured and completely confused. Finn and Rey are wandering around confused and without any memories around the debris of the destroyed base.
After a while a recovery team arrives. They find the confused dead-enders and two children who are still arrive. They quickly check if the experiment had any effect on Rey and Finn. To their disappointment the malfunction seems to have taken the girl’s Force abilities away completely but there is something odd about the boy. They decide that without Force sensitivity or memories the girl is useless to them but they can’t bring themselves to kill her, so they leave her with Unkar Plutt and later tell Snoke that she died as well. The boy shows odd anomalities though, so they take him back to the FO to explore it further. They leave the dead-enders there, seeing they keep guarding the base since they’re aware some of the locals might’ve heard the explosion and could come looking. The idea is that whoever turns up to check what happened only finds the confused and injured officers and decides better not to look further. Which is exactly what happened.
Back in the FO’s headquarters It’s discovered that Finn is in fact absorbing the Force like a black hole and no Force user can influence him or use the Force on him. The FO officers advise Snoke to have the boy killed but he’s too curious about this unwanted result and decides he should be observed and hidden inside the Stormtrooper program. Almost nobody knows of his existence. Meanwhile Rey starts living a scavenger life on Jakku and after a few years the massive block the experiment caused to her Force abilities and her memories losens up when she’s sleeping.
I can add several details to this but that’s truly the essence of it. I hope you like it a bit.
OMG I love this. Such a creepy story possibility that actually answers the seeming coincidence of Rey being found on Jakku of all places. I can also imagine alternative versions–maybe Finn and Rey were both trying to hide and actually got away for a while before the soldiers caught up to them, and Rey, hidden better because she was smaller, helplessly watched as Finn was taken away. She herself might fall in with hard-up scavengers who later sell her, with her confused memory taking them for her parents. It could be why both of them were so drawn to each other, because their repressed and messed-up memories still reacted unconsciously at the sight of each other.
rey: [ok, it’s simple, just tell finn you’re in love with him and want to go out with him]
rey: [actually, maybe just take baby steps and ask him out]
rey: [he probably already knows i’m in love with him, i don’t need to tell him right away]
rey: [yeah, i’ll just ask him to go on a date with me. we’ll go to naboo or something. no, that’s too romantic! endor. we’ll go to endor. yeah. baby steps. ok. there he is. be cool, rey.]
rey: so, finn…
rey: [come on, rey, spit it out]
finn: what’s up?
rey: i was wondering…
rey: [if you knew i want to have your babies]
rey: um…
rey: [you’re wondering if he’d be interested in going on a date sometime! just say it! ask him!]
rey: i was wondering… ah…
finn: yes rey
rey: [he said yes! wait no, he just wants to know what i was going to ask him. shoot this is hard]
rey: i…
rey: [have incredibly poor communication skills, why did i have to grow up alone in the desert]
finn: what is it rey?
rey: i was wondering… about your friend poe.
rey: [what did you just say]
finn: what about him
rey: [what are you doing]
rey: yeah, um… could you like, maybe…
rey: [what is wrong with you you’re avoiding the subject you wanted to talk to him about forget poe don’t finish that sentence are you listening to yourself snap out of it and quit being nervous]
rey: could you set me up with him?
rey: [how are those words escaping your mouthhole? you came to ask out FINN! this is the exact opposite of what you wanted to do]
finn: sure i can set you up
*later*
poe: hey rey finn told me–
rey: HELP ME FINN’S FRIEND I SCREWED UP HELP ME I SCREWED UP I SCREWED UP
“Finn’s friend” lmao I died.
@lj-writes make one from Finn’s perspective, you coward lol
It’s not mine, it’s an anon submission so… there’s your request, nonny!