Hey, so just a warning, insaneblackboy, who’s gone from Tumblr as of the time I’m writing this, was up to some…really not cool things. Harassment, grooming of an underage blogger, threats. I don’t like to be the one to talk about this, and black fans in the SW fandom have it bad enough, but I don’t want anyone getting hurt or scarred over this kind of stuff. As much as I shit on Tumblr, and will continue to, it’s supposed to be a safe place for everyone.

So listen, if you’re an older blogger and you have kids on following you on your Tumblr, please, take care of them and try to keep them safe from an online world that undoubtedly will tell and show them things it shouldn’t, and most importantly, just be a friend to them.

I’m glad he’s taking a breather, and I really hope he works on his issues and comes to understand that what he did was wrong. Let’s try and make fandom safe for everyone, especially kids. Let’s speak out when something’s up, and listen when people come forward. Thank you so much @themandalorianwolf for taking lead on this.

Listen, first things first about befriending people, online or IRL, don’t let them prey on you or manipulate you. Not everyone on online is someone you wanting to trust, especially in fandoms. Things like grooming, harassment, death threats, and everything in between is just an awful thing and if you’re a minor in this site, please be wary of who you trust.

I agree it’s a good idea to be selective about trust, but predation and manipulation aren’t about “letting” someone do it to you. Very often one’s ability to be skeptical, to set boundaries, and to leave are systematically dismantled until it takes a lot of strength and perspective to be able to bust out. It’s particularly hard for minors when dealing with someone older.

I’d say if something in a relationship feels wrong to you it’s a good idea to talk to someone trustworthy and compassionate. Unfortunately predators very often instill shame and guilt in their victims, making it hard to speak out. For that reason I think it’s important for communities to put out warnings, public and private, about who has been proven untrustworthy so that people, especially minors, know who to stay away from. It’s much easier to steer clear of potentially toxic situations than to try to get out of one.

That doesn’t mean the predatory person has to like die or be shunned forever or anything. I believe in personal growth and people learning to be better. They can work on themselves away from minors and anyone else who could be vulnerable, however, something they would accept if they’re truly sorry. It takes a lot of hard work to change one’s values, which are at the heart of abusive behavior. I would far prefer someone who has preyed on people to suffer social seclusion than to gamble a minor’s well-being on the chance of the wrongdoer being all better now.

Creepy adult predators forcing kids to RP NSFW scenarios are all too rampant in fandom. I’m still recovering even though it happened years ago. I didn’t know what happened until I was an adult, when I came to the realization that I was being groomed by self-proclaimed “fandom moms” and popular gatekeepers; I thought that by associating with them and writing NSFW scenarios, I’d be “cool” too. They knew me, a high schooler, had limited access to the net yet still exploited me. It’s horrible.

once-homestead:

lj-writes:

once-homestead:

lj-writes:

God, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wish there had been an adult who had known what was happening and stepped in. And here’s yet more reason to side-eye self-proclaimed “fandom moms”–too often they’re using their age, knowledge, and perceived cool factor to exploit minors. If you call yourself someone’s mom, here’s pro tip: NEVER EVER GET ANYWHERE CLOSE TO GETTING SEXUAL GRATIFICATION FROM THEM. EVER.

Kids in fandom, if you’re in this situation or know someone who is, please tell someone and get help. It’s not cool or okay for a minor to be simulating sex with adults–in every single case I’ve heard of, and I’ve heard far too many, it was hurtful for the minor involved. Adults in fandom, let’s watch out for the kids. Stand up for younger fans. Know that this is not remotely okay, and intervene if necessary to protect them. Fandom should be safe and fun, and nothing is less safe and less fun than grownups preying on children.

Hey! Sorry for stepping in on something that’s not my story (I’m not the anon) but sometimes they’re not “fandom moms” at all, sometimes they’re just a lone older role player person who aren’t popular and have few role play partners. I feel this gave them even more assistance to role play with me in sexual and harmful situations.

And just like anon, I didn’t realize what they were doing was harmful for me until I reached adulthood. I’m 18 now. I really really want to get this person off the internet for how they act and what they might be doing to unknown children, but they keep remaking every single time.

That makes sense, maybe the fact that they’re not popular and have less exposure actually helps them avoid scrutiny (if that’s what you were saying?). And if they were popular or had a brand they might at least lose some of their resources and social capital by having to remake, but if they didn’t have much of that in the first place, well… it sounds like trying to fight a Hydra.

Yeah. That’s exactly what I meant. They’re not popular at all, which I think compells them to bother me for so long 3+ years of singling me out? I’m sure they’re begging for attention and sexual gratification since they’ve asked me to continue role playing nsfw with them.

Kind of on the same topic, a few days ago I mentioned (on my old blog) how the mlp fandom has been plagued with pedophilia since the start and that I really hope children stay safe out there, (and this wasn’t even directed at her!) She proceeds to make porn of the ponies and post them to her deviantart, specifically my favorite ponies.

D: D: D: Just… baaaarf on both counts. I know from my friends’ experiences how hard it is to dislodge a stalker, especially one who’s so grossly fixated. One of my friends ended up pretty much abandoning Tumblr, which is not a solution for everyone (they had other issues with this platform, which, completely understandable). The other friend so targeted started completely anew and cut off all links with older online activity known to their stalker, which I think is something like what you did since you remade. I’m sorry that asshole targeted you like this and hope you are safe from now on. 😦

Creepy adult predators forcing kids to RP NSFW scenarios are all too rampant in fandom. I’m still recovering even though it happened years ago. I didn’t know what happened until I was an adult, when I came to the realization that I was being groomed by self-proclaimed “fandom moms” and popular gatekeepers; I thought that by associating with them and writing NSFW scenarios, I’d be “cool” too. They knew me, a high schooler, had limited access to the net yet still exploited me. It’s horrible.

once-homestead:

lj-writes:

God, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wish there had been an adult who had known what was happening and stepped in. And here’s yet more reason to side-eye self-proclaimed “fandom moms”–too often they’re using their age, knowledge, and perceived cool factor to exploit minors. If you call yourself someone’s mom, here’s pro tip: NEVER EVER GET ANYWHERE CLOSE TO GETTING SEXUAL GRATIFICATION FROM THEM. EVER.

Kids in fandom, if you’re in this situation or know someone who is, please tell someone and get help. It’s not cool or okay for a minor to be simulating sex with adults–in every single case I’ve heard of, and I’ve heard far too many, it was hurtful for the minor involved. Adults in fandom, let’s watch out for the kids. Stand up for younger fans. Know that this is not remotely okay, and intervene if necessary to protect them. Fandom should be safe and fun, and nothing is less safe and less fun than grownups preying on children.

Hey! Sorry for stepping in on something that’s not my story (I’m not the anon) but sometimes they’re not “fandom moms” at all, sometimes they’re just a lone older role player person who aren’t popular and have few role play partners. I feel this gave them even more assistance to role play with me in sexual and harmful situations.

And just like anon, I didn’t realize what they were doing was harmful for me until I reached adulthood. I’m 18 now. I really really want to get this person off the internet for how they act and what they might be doing to unknown children, but they keep remaking every single time.

That makes sense, maybe the fact that they’re not popular and have less exposure actually helps them avoid scrutiny (if that’s what you were saying?). And if they were popular or had a brand they might at least lose some of their resources and social capital by having to remake, but if they didn’t have much of that in the first place, well… it sounds like trying to fight a Hydra.

once-homestead:

lj-writes:

once-homestead:

No offense, but role playing nsfw with anyone under 18 while you yourself are 18+ is disgusting??? The more you fucking know

Seriously, I have heard too much about this sort of thing in fandom. Why are there so many adults in fandom who prey on kids?

I don’t know why, they’re probably straight up pedophiles I guess. I’m speaking from experience though with the role player thing. I recently had to abandon my original blog because this person would not stop stalking and harassing me after I told them I was still upset at the things they called me and the things they said about me.

They still continue to shit talk me on their twitter and victim blame. They have had previous role play partners in the past who were about the same age at the time (I was 16 their other role player friend was 17) and the woman was 31. This shit is disgusting, and it has since forever given me a horrible experience with tumblr overall.

It’s especially difficult then they keep stalking me and remaking to follow both my main and my art blog

That is so horrific, I mean… some thirty-fucking-year old doing sexual roleplay with teenagers, then stalking and harassing them… cyber-stalking itself is bad enough and can impact artists and creators in particular who could use the exposure on popular platforms, but combined with the earlier sexual exploitation it’s just new levels of horror. It’s also awful that these shitty people often have defenders, and their behavior is not seriously questioned by fan communities.

Creepy adult predators forcing kids to RP NSFW scenarios are all too rampant in fandom. I’m still recovering even though it happened years ago. I didn’t know what happened until I was an adult, when I came to the realization that I was being groomed by self-proclaimed “fandom moms” and popular gatekeepers; I thought that by associating with them and writing NSFW scenarios, I’d be “cool” too. They knew me, a high schooler, had limited access to the net yet still exploited me. It’s horrible.

God, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wish there had been an adult who had known what was happening and stepped in. And here’s yet more reason to side-eye self-proclaimed “fandom moms”–too often they’re using their age, knowledge, and perceived cool factor to exploit minors. If you call yourself someone’s mom, here’s pro tip: NEVER EVER GET ANYWHERE CLOSE TO GETTING SEXUAL GRATIFICATION FROM THEM. EVER.

Kids in fandom, if you’re in this situation or know someone who is, please tell someone and get help. It’s not cool or okay for a minor to be simulating sex with adults–in every single case I’ve heard of, and I’ve heard far too many, it was hurtful for the minor involved. Adults in fandom, let’s watch out for the kids. Stand up for younger fans. Know that this is not remotely okay, and intervene if necessary to protect them. Fandom should be safe and fun, and nothing is less safe and less fun than grownups preying on children.