bro, a lot of men NEED to go to therapy not just for their own sake but for the sake of every person they have power over in their lives
if you are a grown ass adult man and you refuse to handle your personal issues that directly negatively impact the people around in varying degrees of harm, even leading up to abuse, that’s YOUR responsibility to fix. no one is saying abusive men dont have ‘reasons’ to be the way they are, but that doesnt change the fact that no one who isnt them can fix their shit
Artsy depression: haunted eyes, good at art, emo hair and eyeliner on point
Actual Depression: bloodshot eyes, no longer trust themselves with pencils, has not showered in five days
Quirky OCD: organized books, clean room, color coordinated outfits
Actual OCD: Intrusive thoughts, flipping the light switch 8 times so you don’t stab your brother, picking holes in your skin
Cute eating disorders: Slim trim and beautiful, shyly refusing a second helping, dancer aesthetic
Actual eating disorders: Puffy cheeks and eroded teeth from excessive vomiting, hair growing over your freezing body and refusing to eat carrots because they’re too high in carbs
Adorable anxiety: just a smol bean, soft, must be protected from the world
Actual anxiety: crying so hard you throw up, shaking, losing sleep over a period after the “okay”
RPG PTSD: flashbacks, vietnam, u don’t know what i’ve been through kiddo
Actual PTSD: Buying your first pregnancy test at twelve, flinching at high fives, i can’t feel my hands where am I what year is it
Cartoon ADHD: look a squirrel, something shiny, fidgety loveable bufoon
Actual ADHD: rereading the same page over and over because it doesn’t make sense, hasn’t done the laundry in four months, hyperfocusing on a mushroom knowing you have work to do
stop making terrifying realities seem cute. it’s disrespectful for those of us who are actually struggling
Fucking preach.
Uwu smol baby autism: adorably awkward, huggable, acts cute when confused, has some sort of rainman talent and a perfect memory in general
Real autism: worrying about whether you’re interpreting people’s cues correctly/making your tone sound correct for the context, or whether they’re about to get wierded out and uncomfortable bc of something you said, sensory issues that drive you nuts, not being able to adapt to sudden changes in plans and freaking out, melting down or shutting down when stressed by stupid things
^
Reblogging for the autism part that is just too real
!!!
Honestly, all of this would make better writing anyway. If we wrote mental illness as it really was, people would be more aware. *sigh* sad how disconnected we are.
some things that horror movie culture has taught you are scary…. are just ableist
….clarify?
okay sure. psychosis? scarier to have than to know someone who has it. DID? im more a threat to myself than people around me. wheelchairs and psych meds? are tools that help people live more functional and flexible lives and are not judgments of the persons character and for sure are not scary things. and for real, intellectually disabled people are not threats, but movies love to make them villains because they act different and understand the world differently. and people with notable physical differences? people who’s bodies look different? people with scars, growths, amputations, etc? are literally just people. and seeing themselves painted like monsters on the big screen is absolutely sickening and damaging to how society will see them.
its not only bad writing but its extremely harmful to people who actually live with conditions that are misrepresented in media. when i found out i had DID, my mom freaked out because her only point of reference was Sybil. when i was younger and first went on psych meds, i thought it meant i was set on a track to be a bad person, because in so many movies and video games you find out the bad guy has medication in his bed side table for some sort of psych disorder. the worst thing a hallucination has ever made me do was wake my mom up at 3 AM to check my bathroom to see if the bugs i saw everywhere were real and the worst thing an “episode” of any sort has made me do is hurt myself. my ptsd doesnt make me kill people, my alters dont kidnap people, my autism doesnt make me so morally unaware that ill murder for senselessly, my ocd doesnt make me hurt people etc etc etc
literally the only “horror” is the ableism. and the only way you can write good horror about disability and mental illness is if the focus is on how society and the medical field treat us rather than focusing on how we are apparently so scary, threatening, and bad.
Full offense, but if your coping mechanism involves hurting others, or other people are hurt as a result of your coping, then it is in fact a shitty coping mechanism that you need to get rid of, and the people you hurt have every right to be angry with you and call you a shitty person.
Schizophrenic/psychotic people are especially vulnerable to various types of abuse and we need to talk about it.
If you’re used to doubting your own perceptions and relying on other people for reality checks, you’re much more vulnerable to gaslighting.
If you’re already paranoid, people can easily fuel that paranoia and use it to further isolate and control you.
If you’re delusional or hallucinating, people can manipulate you further into your delusions/hallucinations and use them to control you and abuse you.
If you’re used to ignoring your instincts because they’re rarely reliable, you might accidentally ignore som very real red flags.
If you rely on a person to take care of you, you may be forced to ignore mistreatment because you don’t have other options.
If you struggle to communicate with other people due to thought disorders, disorganized/atypical speech or lack of speech (alogia) you may struggle to speak up and ask for help.
If you have a psychosis spectrum disorder of any kind, it can be used by your abuser to invalidate and dismiss you if you do speak up against your abuse.
So please look out for your schizophrenic friends, relatives and acquaintances – cause we can’t always look out for ourselves.
It would mean a lot to me if you’d consider reblogging this as schizophrenics are usually the ones painted as dangerous and scary, and it’s important to me that people as many people as possible see that we’re usually the ones who are vulnerable and scared.
Growing up in an abusive household is a fucking trip dude……If you’ve never had someone angrily wash a dish at you or fold a sock in your direction then how are you gonna understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask “are you mad at me?” when you set the bag of groceries down too hard? It’s a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you’ve left the situation.
This is so important.
Abused kids speak a language you can’t learn
I think a lot of people misinterpret this post to mean that folding a sock angrily at you is abusive, and that’s not what it means at all. The fear abused kids feel at this kind of behavior is a conditioned response because we know what comes after. Its about sitting there terrified and waiting for when they will snap.
This is actually a symptom of PTSD, which is more common among child abuse victims than modern veterans
its times like these where i wish i didnt have most reylos blocked so i could see what they’re saying. the thing is, even if that stuff is happening, she still has a chance to apologize? her fic is disgustingly racist and its been brought up in the past and will continue to be brought up until she 1. acknowledges she’s being racist 2. apologizes for being racist 3. deletes her fic.
and yeah, i’ve been on this website long enough to know that when people are accused of things like racism they always threaten things like self-harm and suicide instead of just confronting their own behavior and becoming a better person.
heres a snippet of what the writer and her fellow reylos are sending to me tho so like? who cares if u got death threats babe join the club lmfaoo. and yes boo i too have clinical depression and anxiety and YET i havent threatened self-harm as a way to get out of consequences. fuck outta here with that mess. stop being an ugly violent racist and nobody will bother you! it’s not like you get hate mail for just existing like the rest of us. cry me a river.
despicaWhat J said. They do these things to us to really showcase their violent bigotry (antiblackness and islamophobia in J’s case) then turn right back around and cry victimhood. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if these were reylos sending her this shit so that they can really play their victim complex.
They are all fucking despicable.
It’s so telling, like practically a case study?? A white woman (op), an Asian woman (me), and a Black woman (@muslimfinn) all tear into a shitty racist fic. Guess which of them gets threats of violence, suicide bait, and Islamophobia in their inbox. I published both the critical asks I got in relation to this mess. They were annoying, disingenuous, and self-serving, sure, but NO ONE threatened me or was bigoted toward me. The difference in treatment is palpable.
And yeah, fuck off with hiding behind mental illness/RL issues. White women called on racism pull this shit all the time, weaponizing their perceived frailty to silence criticism and avoid accountability. Because obviously the people they hurt can’t have mental illness or other shit going on in their lives. Because everyone else are just dumb brutes with no real feelings and inner lives that matter. Because it’s not like racism, interpersonal and institutionalized, is devastating for the mental and physical health of Black people. I find myself agreeing more and more with the analysis that white supremacy is a form of socially accepted sociopathy (link) that frees too many white people from empathizing with Black people or indeed seeing them as full people at all.
Why are the rylos trying to call antis ableist for criticizing Kylo, just because they headcanon him as having BPD? I’ve seen more and more posts like this on my dash and it’s just pissing me off so much. Just a warning, this is more of a spur-of-the-moment rant than any coherent analysis of Kylo’s character, but I just needed to vent.
First off, it’s a headcanon, not a definite fact. Headcanons are subjective in the best of times. Even though I agree that Kylo displays many BPD symptoms (a la Anakin in the prequels), this has never been confirmed either by supplementary material or Lucasfilm executives. Because of that simple fact, other fans have the right to headcanon Kylo’s mental health in any damn way they please. So do you! You are perfectly free to headcanon Kylo as BPD, but that doesn’t mean you can go around forcing your headcanon onto others.
Second, and more importantly, having a mental illness is no excuse for committing atrocities such as murder, genocide, patricide, terrorism, and mental violation. I stated when I reblogged the original post that there is a difference between an explanation and a justification, and I’ll reaffirm that. If Kylo was confirmed as having BPD, nothing is changed about his morality. The way he acts would be better explained, sure, but certainly not justified.
There’s a difference and people need to get that into their heads. Mental illness does not physically make you do anything, and I say this as some who has faced these issues multiple times. It influences you heavily and dangerously, but any physical reaction is a response that you yourself have decided to act on. Mental illnesses are terrible misfortunes that mess up your perception of life in general, and although they may influence you heavily, you are still responsible for carrying out these awful actions.
Hell, I have bipolar disorder. If I commit a murder and blame a manic episode for “making me do it,” I still deserve to be prosecuted. What makes Kylo any different?
There’s a new Kylo Ren defense now. And it’s “leave Kylo Ren alone; he has BPD!!1!1! You calling him Crylo / manchild is offensive!1! Ur awful!1!”
Mental illness isn’t a blanket for someone to hide behind. We’re not fragile little beings that need that to hide behind. That is the offensive/awful thing – using mental illness as a shield.
Those with BPD aren’t what Kylo is.. they don’t kill people. They don’t torture people. They don’t kill their family members. Not because of BPD that is. That is the offensive/awful thing – using BPD as something to excuse all the horrific things Kylo has done.
This is what I hate about Kylo Ren fangirls. That instead of accepting what Kylo Ren is and has done they throw excuses after excuses; justifications after justifications at him. Kylo Ren is a family killing manchild. The First Order, which he is now incharge of, resembles Nazis in a great deal. There is no canon mental illness, and not that it would absolve anything. Mental illness is not a shield. And fuck you for thinking we need it.
Oh wow, as though people who have BPD don’t get enough stigma, don’t get treated as inherently abusive and violent… they get thrown under the bus to excuse some fictional space fascist. Fuck that noise.
L.J.'s Obsessions 