men don’t abuse women because they haven’t learned how to cry+show emotions in a healthy way; they abuse women because since birth, through parenting and media and the overall surrounding culture they are taught that women are subhuman, made to exist in the control of men. men exercise this control through violence, with their entitlement translating into epidemic levels of rape and domestic violence.
simply telling men it’s ok to cry wont help women; an abuser can both cry and abuse you know!! society protecting women’s rights and showing zero tolerance towards rape and violence against women will help, and that’s what we should be focusing on instead of engaging with mra types who have no empathy for anyone but themselves
I don’t think fandom activity focusing on sex is in itself is a bad thing, any more than being attracted to an actor/character is. I don’t have much taste for NSFW stuff myself, but as long as everything is tagged correctly and kept in the proper places I’m fine with it.
I do have a problem, however, with the sexism implicit in saying that an activity that was mostly received as being devoid of sexual meaning must now be all about sex now that a young female character is involved.
And you are correct, no lightsaber duel will ever be as hot or have as much spark as the Obi-Wan and Anakin one. Unless Episode IX concludes with Rey leaving Kylo burning alive, in which case I’m willing to admit it’s the sexiest duel if only for the personal satisfaction it will give me.
This is why all anti Reylos are misogynists, even if you’re a woman. You having social justice points on Tumblr doesn’t give you a free pass.
THE HOTTEST TAKE, IF YOU HATE KYLO REN YOU HATE WOMEN NOW
This just in: Because I, a Jew, hate a Nazi parallel, I am a misogynist.
Man goyim are on a trip. Whatever you all are smoking I suggest you stop, I think it’s tainted
What’s more, Kyle reminds many many women of their abusers and that’s why they dislike the character and Reylo. But I guess some women count more than others. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
also the “Leia must have been a bad parent” angle is 100% rooted in blaming a woman for a man’s bad acts, and everyone needs to cut that shit out right now.
A number of older female fans are obnoxious, immature bullies who deserve to be called the hell out for their bad behavior, and don’t have the excuse of being too young to know better.
AND ALSO
Deriding them for their age and gender with “go back to the kitchen” types of comments is sexist and makes you an ass. Cut that shit out.
You’re fourteen and you’re reading Larry Niven’s “The Protector” because it’s your father’s favorite book and you like your father and you think he has good taste and the creature on the cover of the book looks interesting and you want to know what it’s about. And in it the female character does something better than the male character – because she’s been doing it her whole life and he’s only just learned – and he gets mad that she’s better at it than him. And you don’t understand why he would be mad about that, because, logically, she’d be better at it than him. She’s done it more. And he’s got a picture of a woman painted on the inside of his spacesuit, like a pinup girl, and it bothers you.
But you’re fourteen and you don’t know how to put this into words.
And then you’re fifteen and you’re reading “Orphans of the Sky” because it’s by a famous sci-fi author and it’s about a lost generation ship and how cool is that?!? but the women on the ship aren’t given a name until they’re married and you spend more time wondering what people call those women up until their marriage than you do focusing on the rest of the story. Even though this tidbit of information has nothing to do with the plot line of the story and is only brought up once in passing.
But it’s a random thing to get worked up about in an otherwise all right book.
Then you’re sixteen and you read “Dune” because your brother gave it to you for Christmas and it’s one of those books you have to read to earn your geek card. You spend an entire afternoon arguing over who is the main character – Paul or Jessica. And the more you contend Jessica, the more he says Paul, and you can’t make him see how the real hero is her. And you love Chani cause she’s tough and good with a knife, but at the end of the day, her killing Paul’s challengers is just a way to degrade them because those weenies lost to a girl.
Then you’re seventeen and you don’t want to read “Stranger in a Strange Land” after the first seventy pages because something about it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth. All of this talk of water-brothers. You can’t even pin it down.
And then you’re eighteen and you’ve given up on classic sci-fi, but that doesn’t stop your brother or your father from trying to get you to read more.
Even when you bring them the books and bring them the passages and show them how the authors didn’t treat women like people.
Your brother says, “Well, that was because of the time it was written in.”
You get all worked up because these men couldn’t imagine a world in which women were equal, in which women were empowered and intelligent and literate and capable.
You tell him – this, this is science fiction. This is all about imagining the world that could be and they couldn’t stand back long enough and dare to imagine how, not only technology would grow in time, but society would grow.
But he blows you off because he can’t understand how it feels to be fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen and desperately wanting to like the books your father likes, because your father has good taste, and being unable to, because most of those books tell you that you’re not a full person in ways that are too subtle to put into words. It’s all cognitive dissonance: a little like a song played a bit out of tempo – enough that you recognize it’s off, but not enough to pin down what exactly is wrong.
And then one day you’re twenty-two and studying sociology and some kind teacher finally gives you the words to explain all those little feelings that built and penned around inside of you for years.
It’s like the world clicking into place.
And that’s something your brother never had to struggle with.
This is an excellent post to keep in mind when you see another recent post criticizing the current trend of dystopian sci-fi and going on about how sci-fi used to be about hope and wonder.
what she means: sure, oldboy is a good movie, but i hate that it’s considered by film fuckboys to be park chan-wook’s ~most essential~ movie when park himself admits he was very immature when he made it and the women characters were treated so badly, so he went on to make so many women-led films like lady vengeance, thirst, stoker, cyborg, and the handmaiden and i guess im just bitter that most people still have only watched oldboy out of all his films which is such a waste bc if he’d kept making stuff like oldboy he wouldn’t be the great director he is today
But reylo really is the most heterosexual ship out there because the man’s violence and anger and general immaturity are taken to be romantic and the woman’s clear feelings of disgust/hatred/fear of the man are completely ignored.
OMG all the people whining “heterophobia!” in the additions I love it
L.J.'s Obsessions 