Tag: parenting

loopy777:

attackfish:

I have had to block a few people for responding to my Ursa post with all the ways Azula really isn’t at fault for her actions, and Ursa is awful. Hilariously, one of the people writing this also wrote that there was no point in writing meta asserting Azula’s culpability for her actions, because everybody thinks she is. Okay.

Anyway, other than Azula’s supposed blamelessness, there is a common theme to these reblogs, and that is the idea that Ursa and Iroh focused on Zuko, and if they had given Azula equal effort she could have been saved like her brother.

Iroh obviously did focus his efforts on Zuko. He went into exile with him after all. But the show and a little logic makes the reason for this apparent. Before Iroh even arrives home from the front, Azula makes it clear that she does not respect him, in fact she scorns him and is happy at the prospect of his death:

AZULA: If Uncle doesn’t make it back from war, then dad would be next in line to be Fire Lord, wouldn’t he?

URSA: Azula, we don’t speak that way. It would be awful if Uncle Iroh didn’t return. And besides, Fire Lord Azulon is a picture of health.

ZUKO: How would you like it if cousin Lu Ten wanted dad to die?

AZULA: I still think our dad would make a much better Fire Lord than his royal tea loving kookiness.

Azula is even crueler after Lu Ten’s death:

AZULA: By the way, Uncle’s coming home.

ZUKO: Does that mean we won the war?

AZULA: No. It mean’s Uncle’s a quitter and a loser.

ZUKO: What are you talking about? Uncle’s not a quitter.

AZULA: Oh yes, he is. He found out his son died and he just fell apart. A real general would stay and burn Ba Sing Se to the ground, not lose the battle and come home crying.

ZUKO: How do you know what he should do? He’s probably just sad his only kid is gone… forever.

This is of course Ozai’s influence. Azula hasn’t seen her uncle since she was six. However, it does go to show that Azula is not receptive to any overture Iroh might make upon his return, while Zuko is. Ozai has done an excellent job of isolating Azula from his brother’s potential influence, and ensuring that she will listen to her father, and dismiss any advice or affection Iroh might give as worthless. The only way Iroh would have any real hope of building the kind of relationship with Azula he would need to be able to help her, would be to extract her from her father’s influence and power for a very long time, something he does not have the power to do. Iroh focuses on Zuko because Zuko lets him in. Zuko isn’t getting the glut of affirmation from Ozai that Azula is, so Iroh has something to offer him that he wants desperately. And then Ozai banishes Zuko, giving Iroh exactly the opportunity he would never get with Azula.

Ursa meanwhile does not in fact focus all her attention on Zuko. We actually see her trying to curtail Azula’s cruelty, and just as importantly, trying to reinforce pro-social behavior and healthy interaction with her brother:

AZULA: Mom, can you make Zuko play with us? We need equal teams to play a game.

ZUKO: I am not cart wheeling.

AZULA: You won’t have to. Cart wheeling’s not a game, dumb dumb.

ZUKO: I don’t care. I don’t want to play with you.

AZULA: We are brother and sister. It’s important for us to spend time together. Don’t you think so, mom?

URSA: Yes darling, I think it’s a good idea to play with your sister. Go on now, just for a little while.

Critically, before Azula approaches, her mother, she says to Ty Lee, “Watch this.” This shows Ursa’s attempt to encourage her daughter’s good behavior is not a one off. It’s a pattern that Azula can predict and manipulate.

However, Ursa is unable to overcome Ozai’s influence because he is always there to praise Azula and tell her how unjust her mother is every time Ursa tries to stop her cruel behavior, and because she had no access at all to Azula, or for that matter Zuko, after she turned eight.

The idea that Iroh and Ursa are responsible for Azula’s choices and emotional problems, and that they unfairly favored Zuko over her, and this is why Azula and Zuko turned out the way they did, presupposes the two of them having magical healing abilities that they used on Zuko and not on Azula, instead of acknowledging the ways in which Ozai’s power and favoritism shut off any opportunities they had to help Azula as a child.

Those manipulations from Ozai are directly responsible for Azula’s unraveling, as well. By isolating Azula, Ozai made her completely dependent on his validation, and when she felt like she was no longer getting it, we saw how she reacted with hurt and outrage in the finale. His validation was a drug for Azula, and she would have responded like a junkie to anyone attempting to keep her away from her fix.

The comparison to a drug is particularly interesting because physically addictive drugs like heroin replace the organic chemicals produced by the body such as dopamine, creating physical dependence. It’s a physical analogue to the psychological, social, financial etc. dependence abusers create in their victims, cutting them off from their other resources, making them less self-reliant and less capable, and ultimately forcing victims to regress rather than progress. Abuse is the opposite of nurture because it forces victims to contract into relying on their abusers instead of growing into themselves and their communities.