Man that’s super valid. I’ve been approaching sexuality and romanticism as separate because I do think humans are that complex, and I think it’s completely legit to be romantically attracted to your same gender but not sexually attracted to anyone. I mean, that’s why ace and aro exist, you know? We make the labels we need for ourselves and if those are your labels, that’s valid. They’re certainly not mutually exclusive.
There’s this lie going around that identifying as both gay/lesbian and ace is somehow inherently homophobic and stigmatizes gay sex. This is because some exclusionists evidently choose to interpret asexuality as a judgment on themselves like what kind of puerile it’s-all-about-me egocentrism… Yes some individual aces are judgmental assholes who interpret their sexuality as moral superiority. I’ve gone through that phase myself. So? Is that the standard for protecting and including a group now? That everyone in it needs to be a nice person? In that case I have some bad news about every single letter in the community alphabet soup.
It’s also really cruel to call aces and aros straight and exclude them from the LGBT+ community because aspec people, once they are out or outed, are NOT treated as straight. They’re told they’re missing some vital component of being human, that they’re sick, that they just need some good sex* (read: assault) to be fixed.
And now it’s gotten to the point where aces are scared or hesitant to identify as such–I’ve gotten a similar ask, too. Mission fucking accomplished, aphobic exclusionists. I hope you know you’re pulling some of the same bullshit homophobes pulled on you, making people question their experiences and identities. I hope it makes you proud.
L.J.'s Obsessions 