1. Make popcorn. Not just regular popcorn. I mean like distractingly good, buttery salty heaven, maybe pour some queso on it if you love that stuff (I know I do.) Make a gigantic batch and keep a big bowl handy.

2. Optional: find the absolute best ice cream milkshake recipe and whip up a glass. Just one, though, and make sure it’s really good.

3. Get a bowl of pretzels and throw some caramel M&Ms in there.

4. Eat all the food and don’t watch TLJ.

I’m just kidding, but you could do that. That’d be a really good idea.

4. Make your couch as comfortable as possible, unless you can watch in bed. Pillows, blankets– just surround yourself with it. Make sure you don’t have to move too much to reach your food.

5. Procrastinate starting the movie until it’s very late. There’s a purpose behind this step.

6. When you start the movie, keep your phone nearby with the ringer turned all the way up. Maybe you want to live tweet this? I feel like that’d be a good idea.

7. When the movie starts, immediately go to work on your milkshake. You want to finish it before you get to Ahch-to.

8. Don’t think about the plot. Just don’t. Focus on the tiny stuff. “Oh. Imperial veteran. Cool. Oh. Gold robe. Cool. Oh. Yoda. Cool.”

9. When Poe makes his prank call, make a call of your own. Call your mom or something. Talk about anything but Star Wars.

10. When the green milk scene comes up, just close your eyes. You don’t want to see that while you’re eating.

11. Depending on how comfortable your couch is, you should be falling asleep around Canto Bight. This is the idea.

12. If not, make sure you have lots of popcorn.

13. How much have you been tweeting? Tweet more. Your followers should have to suffer through this too.

14. If you make it to Snoke’s death, pause the movie. Congratulate yourself. Order a pizza.

15. Just to procrastinate a bit longer, don’t start the movie again until the pizza’s arrived.

16. Start the movie again. You should be extremely tired right now. Now would be a good time to fall asleep.

17. If you don’t fall asleep, you deserve an award. Congratulations, you made it through the worst Star Wars film ever and you kinda liked it. Not the movie, you still hate it, but that popcorn was really good.

18. Sleep in tomorrow.