““When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.” All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.””
— Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via jillymomcraftypants)
There’s really nothing new I can say about Finn that I haven’t already said this past year or said by others but…lemme wax poetic about him anyway. He’s a beacon of hope for abuse survivors. He’s an image of Black masculinity that rejects hyper masculinity and the violence it comes with. He’s beautiful, kind, brave, and brash. He’s a tactical genius. He’s down to earth and untouchable at the same time. And he means so fuckin much to me and a lot of other ppl. Seeing Johns face on billboards w/that lightsaber… having so many expectations and then having them surpassed!!! wow!! Having an even better written Black character than I hoped for played by a phenomenal actor…it’s just… blessed!! The best fiction not only reflects reality but challenges it and forces it to change. Finn’s compassion, loyalty, and willingness to make hard choices not only for himself but for the benefit of others – it’s something that inspires us. It inspires me. Yeah he deserves to be treated better. We all know that. He’s FS and gonna be a jedi. We all know that. But even if his arc in ep 9 is even worse than that trash we got in ep 8… it wont do anything to the fact that Finn continues to be the most interesting character ever to exist in the SW universe! And that’s a fact!! He isn’t a vader wannabe, he isnt a flyboy, and he isnt a clone lily white heroine – he’s bigger and better than them all – he’s FINN!!!! We’re all blessed to see such an iconic character appear on screen while we’re alive and to see such a wonderful, humble, and talented actor like John Boyega play him!! I aint never been part of fandom before Finn and even if it’s been rough at times I’m so so glad if we’re gonna hyper-fixate on movie or kin (ha) any character we got Finn to love on!! What a blessing.
When Poe personally sews up his jacket for Finn after it got torn up, even though a droid could have done it quickly and easily without mistakes *eeeee*
I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed
SHIT WHAT
Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.
I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.
This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things.
Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.
kes is with poe when he’s getting ready before his and finn’s wedding and after all the nights of staying up late wondering if his best was going to be good enough without shara and wondering if he’d already seen his son for the last time after seeing another headline about the first order seeing poe utterly unable to stop smiling as he’s getting dressed in this fancy suit is one of the best moments of his life
poe stops him before they start walking down the aisle to hug him and tell him that he loves him and kes has never been good at pushing his emotions down (like father like son) so when his vision blurs after they pull away from the hug he just takes a deep breath and takes poe’s arm. he leads him into a room full of people that care about his son at the same time that leia leads finn in, the same glint he’d just seen in poe’s eyes shining bright in finn’s now
he listens as leia talks about love, about the spark inside them that keeps them going, that lights their path even in the darkest nights. he listens to her talk about love and family the same way she did all those years ago when he was standing in poe’s place. he still remembers the love and excitement and that utter bliss standing there with shara, a too short reprieve between battles, the same intensity in leia’s words today, in the grip of their hands around themselves, the promise to share however much time they have with each other
he sits with leia at the reception, reminiscing until their boys show up with big, bright smiles. they laugh and kiss their way through dinner, dancing to a song kes doesn’t recognize like they’re the only two beings left in the galaxy. he dances with poe and finn, switching off with leia between songs, and hugs finn close, finally welcoming him to the family officially a year after realizing his family had gotten bigger for the first time in 32 years
the first order is still fighting, still trying to destroy the biggest block between them and control of the republic. the resistance has had significant victories led by leia and finn and his own dear poe, but it’s not a straightforward path to victory. as the first order gets more desperate they fight harder, try to scare the resistance and their allies into submission with acts of brutality. the wedding was nearly called off after the last battle, is as much a sorely needed celebration of life as much as it is a celebration of finn and poe, two tables with fourteen chairs sit empty at the reception for those who gave up everything so the rest of them could go on to fight another day – to love another day
he gets on a transport to go back to yavin iv after breakfast with his sons. they’re already back to work the morning after their wedding, their honeymoon penciled in sometime after the first order falls. neither seem to mind too much, the bags under their eyes no match for the spark in their eyes, the gleam of golden metal catching in the light as a hand travels up an arm and plays with the cuff of a shirtsleeve
the state of the galaxy weighs heavy on kes’ shoulders, digging into old wounds that still twinge decades after the fall of the empire, but there’s a lightness, too. a spark. a love shared between two people that is so strong the evils of the first order can never hope to extinguish it. the same spark still glowing in his chest, protected by rib and muscle and flesh after all these years. the specifics of the future may be uncertain, is certainly not safe from the wrath of evil and greed and just bad luck, but he knows as long as they can hold onto that they’ll never truly lose.
someone on twitter had the idea to donate to dding dong in jonghyuns name, a korean organization helping out at-risk lgbt youth in korea. they provide food, community, activities, counseling, prevention, medical care and more and they want to raise enough money to become a full time shelter. i think he would have loved the idea. so if you feel like it, here’s the link:
boost this!! jjong was always a vocal spokesperson for lgbt youth, so if you have a few extra bucks and are looking for a way to honour his memory this is a great way to do that.
I want to thank everyone reblogging and donating SO MUCH for caring about LGBT+ youth in Korea. I’m a 40 yo ajumma who knows fuck-all about Kpop, but your outpouring of support in the wake of this young man’s tragic death is amazing. I am just so touched and moved that you would open your hearts and wallets to queer youth in another country based on your love of this artist’s music. Bless you all.
L.J.'s Obsessions 