Tag: toxic masculinity

ratguzzler:

ratguzzler:

bro, a lot of men NEED to go to therapy not just for their own sake but for the sake of every person they have power over in their lives

if you are a grown ass adult man and you refuse to handle your personal issues that directly negatively impact the people around in varying degrees of harm, even leading up to abuse, that’s YOUR responsibility to fix. no one is saying abusive men dont have ‘reasons’ to be the way they are, but that doesnt change the fact that no one who isnt them can fix their shit

goldstarprivilege:

muchymozzarella:

afunnyfeminist:

ghastderp:

i love sir patrick stewart more with each passing day.

See, guys. This is how you do it. Notice the words “Not all men are like that” are never spoken.

He knows men are like that

his father was like that to his mother

he has experienced the pain firsthand, of what it’s like when men are like that

and he never wants men to be like that again and he fights tooth and nail against the men who are still like that

And moreover, he acknowledges his privilege [as an older white male who is famous/well known] and uses it to speak up. He knows what he is, and he never has to say he’s not like those men he fights against—he never says it, his actions speak loud enough for everyone else to see it. 

Sir Patrick Stewart, everyone.

kiwianaroha:

“We’re in the midst of a reckoning. It’s what toxic masculinity’s own medicine tastes like. And people should allow the consequences to unfold, regardless of how it affects those they consider to be friends. The only way to enforce seismic, cultural change in the way men relate to women is to draw a line deep in the sand and say: This is what we will no longer tolerate. You’re either with our bodies or against our bodies. The punishment for harassment is you disappear. The punishment for rape is you disappear. The punishment for masturbation in front of us is you disappear. The punishment for coercion is you disappear.”

— Opinion | Amber Tamblyn: I’m Not Ready for the Redemption of Men – The New York Times (via brutereason)

freewillandphysics:

teal-deer:

witchyroses:

art–felt:

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

SHIT WHAT

Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.

I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.

This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things. 

Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.

jedi-steel:

forcedintostarwars:

Something that I really appreciate about The Clone Wars is that they make Anakin a likable, loving, genuinely good person while reaffirming and enhancing his more negative qualities. For example the show makes it clear that Anakin is a good person, but a selfish one. 

In the arc where Ahsoka get’s kidnapped and hunted by lizard people we see this very subtle selfish quality of Anakin’s. When Ahsoka comes home from her traumatizing ordeal what is the very first thing that Anakin does? He makes things about himself. He makes things about his failure to protect her, his  concern, his worry, his fear for her, his own shortcomings. He is obviously coming from a place of genuine love and concern for Ahsoka, but it’s still about him. There’s nothing evil about that kind of selfishness, seeing a situation from your own point of view doesn’t mean you don’t care, anyone who says that they don’t make things about themselves is almost definitely a liar but you can’t deny it. In that moment Ahsoka had to comfort Anakin. That moment is beautiful and poignant regarding their bond and their friendship, but it’s also very telling if you look at it through a slightly more cynical lens.

It reminds me of in AOTC when Anakin kneeled at his mother’s grave and talked about himself and his feelings of inadequacy rather than his mother herself. Or in ROTS when Anakin was concerned for Padme’s life and committed to saving it in a way he knew that she wouldn’t approve of. When he pledges himself to Palpatine he doesn’t say he wants to save her life because she deserves to love or anything that has to do with her. It’s because he couldn’t live without her, he needs her, he loves her, she can’t leave him because he couldn’t take that. It’s about him. 

Anakin’s feelings of selfishness don’t mean that he doesn’t actually love or care about these people, his possessive nature and selfishness actually come from his love for these people. He just can’t separate the way he feels about these people from the individuals themselves. He always makes it about himself and his needs and desires, not theirs. It’s possible that the first person that Anakin really loved in a nonselfish way was Luke by the end of ROTJ.

I don’t know that I’m making sense here but this topic fascinates me.

What an excellent analysis that I 100% agree with. I used to know people who loved Anakin because they believed he was completely selfless, and I… disagreed with that interpretation because it was incomplete. (Also because they had a habit of woobifying Anakin to the point of being an apologist. Like, ugh.) He fell to the Darkside because he was selfless to the point of utter selfishness. Everything was about him, about possessing, about owning, about being responsible for. That was no doubt rooted from his childhood as a slave when his destiny, his very life, didn’t even belong to him, and then again from his upbringing with the Jedi when he was told his life still didn’t belong to him but in service to the Force, the galaxy, and he wasn’t allowed to love or own… basically the dude has never learned how to separate his own intense feelings from others, and it was a toxic combination. 

Someone else has made independent, autonomous choices that put them into dangers? Oh no, Anakin failed to protect them! That’s what this is about, not the trauma that they’ve now endured! Visions of Padme dying in childbirth? That’s okay, he’ll fix it by teaming up with a Sith Lord and literally slaughtering innocent children! Padme, why are you crying? I fixed the problem, I have enough power to save you now!

I like analyses like this because it reminds me of why I like Anakin as a character – because he’s selfish, and his downfall is his own, and at the end of the day it’s his own choices, his own decisions, that lead to it. Taking that away from him makes him less of a complex figure, in my opinion.

fyxan:

men’s loyalty to violence is disturbing.  when women want a life free of abuse, assault, threat, & coercion, men’s first suggestion is “learn to fight back. learn to defend yourself”.  i don’t want my life to be a fight.  i don’t want to “prove myself” through inflicting pain & fear. 
i don’t find violence and physical conflict fulfilling or self-actualising.  

they’re exhausting & dehumanizing