white people are racist by default (in the united states as well as other countries). are you white? congrats, you’re racist, and here’s the explanation:
you grew up in a racist society -> you were socialized to be racist thanks to racism being a dominant ideology -> you benefit from racism -> you’re racist no matter how much u think you’re not.
unlearning it is going to be a constant battle and u will never unlearn it fully. accept this. it is ingrained in you as a result of your upbringing and the media you’ve consumed. the sooner you come to terms with your own racism, the sooner u can better yourself. recognize the problem in yourself instead of setting yourself apart from those “other” white people.
I fux heavy with the White people who keep putting this post on my dash
This applies to all social structures by the way.
You’re a man? You grew up benefitting from sexism. You’re straight? You grew up with homophobic ideals. You’re cis? You grew up with transphobic ideals. You’re able bodied? You grew up with ableist tendencies.
The process of unlearning all of the ideology you were surrounded by is what activism is about. Do it.
And even if you’re not privileged under a given social structure, you might still have a lot of internalized things to unlearn
Our society teaches us to hate the oppressed, if an oppressed person says that what you believe or do is harmful and they tell you – don’t get offended, learn and do better
The important thing here is, nobody’s blaming you (the general “you”) for this. I think a big part of the reason people get so offended when they hear these attitudes is because it sounds like “you’re a horrible person and support these things”. That’s not what it means, and that’s not what you are.
But society feeds us a steady diet of memetic poison almost from the day we’re born, and for each blend of poison there are groups who are more or less immune, groups who are harmed in ways they don’t really notice and groups who suffer horribly from it. It’s not your fault that you’ve been fed poison, and nobody is blaming you for having been fed poison.
It’s just… the poison is there, and because you’ve been fed so much of it, it’s in your bloodstream and your lips and your head. And you might not notice it’s there if it’s not harming you or visibly harming others around you, and spread it without realising that’s what you’re doing.
That’s why it’s so important to recognise and identify harmful ideologies for what they are and learn about the harm they do, so you can start checking your first reaction and changing the ways you’ve been taught to act and think.
Tea but fiction has always affected reality. The arts, theatre, and literature have all been tools to liberate and oppress. After the 1915 shit show movie, “Birth of a Nation” was released, the US saw a rise in KKK sympathy and anti-black sentiments (as if there wasn’t enough already). Before WWII, anti-Semitic propoganda caused the rise of anti-Semitism which made the Holocaust possible. Demonization of LGBT people in TV and film and other media makes homophobia and transphobia normalized and even comedic for some folks. Countless other examples have had lasting negative affects that we’re still seeing now. Fiction is integral to how we view and process reality and to say that fiction has no bearing on reality is ahistorical at best and at worst, extremely harmful.
can’t talk about periods because it “triggers” trans women
can’t talk about their vaginas because it “triggers” trans women
can’t talk about issues in other parts of the female reproductive system because cissexism, transphobia and it “triggers” trans women
can’t talk about how they don’t like penises because it hurts trans womens feelings
can’t talk about their attraction to female body parts because not every female has [insert body part] and it may hurt trans womens feelings
has to overcome her sexual boundaries because penises are “female organs”
[insert more]
It would be a constant walk on eggshells. They would be always at risk of getting called a cisbian/cissexist/transphobe and so on. We know how gendershits react if you say the “wrong” things. It can be very dangerous.
So who benefits from all this?? Hint: Not lesbians
I’m a trans woman in a relationship with a girl.
– When she talks about her period, I listen. If she is on her period, I offer her support and try to make her comfortable in any ways I can. I’ve thought a thousand times about how I don’t have a female reproductive system, I’m quite used to it – the word ‘period’ isn’t going to upset me. All it means is I can’t talk from experience about periods, so I might start to feel uncomfortable in social situations where such discussion is taking place.
– We have frequent discussions about vaginas, the female reproductive system, issues that target women with a female reproductive system, and about the female body and how beautiful it is. It doesn’t trigger me. At most, it makes me slightly impatient for the later stages of my transition.
– My partner doesn’t particularly dislike penises, but if she told me she doesn’t like them, my response would be something like “me neither.”
– If my partner’s sexual boundaries excluded penises then I would be fine with that, there are plenty of other ways in which to enjoy each other’s bodies.
And the whole egg shells things – Yes, there are many sensitive issues that I have, and I do often get upset about things while my girlfriend is around. For example I was watching her get dressed, and I noticed how well clothes fit her, then I got upset about how my proportions don’t lend themselves so well to female clothing. But I wasn’t there calling her transphobic for getting dressed in front of me? I wasn’t blaming her for how I was feeling? Everybody has sensitive issues, it would be difficult to find a partner who doesn’t have at least a couple of issues that might come up in day to day life; just because trans women may have a concentration of these issues around certain areas doesn’t mean we aren’t viable as female partners?
I’m not saying every trans woman is the same as me (though, looking at other comments people have made, many of us seem to have a similar outlook), what I’m saying is that any number of these supposed reasons may or may not apply to any given trans woman, so they aren’t not reasons enough to rule out trans women as potential partners.
It still stands that for a lesbian (or anyone who dates women) to say, outright, that they don’t date trans women, is transphobic. Even if your standard of woman, or the types of women you’re attracted to might rule out many trans women, there are thousands of trans women whom you wouldn’t know aren’t cis without being told, so to rule those out just because they’re trans is definitely transphobic.
To conclude, all your points are flawed and you need to learn some things.
I’m a cis girl attracted to girls. I am in a relationship with a trans women
– When I’m on my period curled up in pain, she curled around me and tells me she would take the pain away if she could. She gets me a hot drink and chocolate and watches films with me. I don’t hide it from her, she knows how her body works and she’s getting use to how mine works. Not every women has periods, trans or cis.
– We are in a sexual relationship of course we’re going to talk about vaginas, aside from this we talk in general if she has any questions I’ll answer them.
– I don’t have an issue with penises. If I did there are plent of other sexual ‘adventures’ you can have with people.
– Why can’t I talk about an attraction to ‘female’ body part? She’s with a girl she clearly appreciates them too!
As the women above stated my girlfriend has somethings she will get upset about, I know what these are and try to minimise her upset. I know she thinks she’s too tall and wishes she was closer to my height. No matter what happens she can’t change her height, I tell her how amazing her height is, I try to help her accept who she is. She’s got beautiful long legs every time we are out and she’s got her legs out and heels on people approach her and tell her how jealous of her legs they are, sometimes it’s small steps to acceptance that helps her.
Stop generalising trans women. So what if someone other than you benefits from something?
I love my gorgeous girlfriend.
Many many many women love transwomen, again as the lady said above refusing to date a trans person is transphobic. End of story.
I love how cis and trans lesbians came in and ripped this transphobe apart.
Is op alive?
Yes, 911? I just witnessed a murder.
i hate transphobes. they are literally the worst. they’re also dumb as shit. like, their arguments make no sense. like, where do you draw the line for womanhood? not all cis women have periods, or breasts, or a uterus or vagina. so if you don’t have to have those parts to be a cis woman, why would a trans woman have to?
not all cis women produce estrogen. some of them use store-bought, some of them don’t have it at all. if that doesn’t make them not women, why would it make trans women not women?
without doing extensive testing, we have no idea how many cis women have xx chromosomes. but we do know that cis women don’t all have xx chromosomes.
where do you draw the line? i’ll tell you. the circle is labeled “women” and the people who go inside that circle are the people who say they are women
The problem, OP, is not having a vagina and talking about it. The problem is acting like these attributes are the defining attribute of womanhood.
No love,
Trans dude married to a man who does all these things with his husband and is still manly as fuck while doing it, because it’s who you are not the shape of your junk that matters.
Transphobes are hilarious. Way to strawman and then cry over the strawman. Maybe come back when you have an actual argument.
Antis post this hate edit with changed gender. And when they’re doing this shit it isn’t transphobic?
No, it is not transphobic.
Rian Johnson is not transgender. He is not a trans man. He is a cisgendered man. It would be transphobic to call him a woman if he were a trans man, but he isn’t.
High-key sideeyeing Emma Stone said that that the Best Director nominees are four men and Greta Gerwig. When will white feminists learn that, just because they are not women, doesn’t mean that Jordan Peele and Guillermo Del Toro’s nominations are not as meaningful as Greta Gerwig’s?
And what was the first thing that Guillermo Del Toro said in his acceptance speech? He highlighted that he was an immigrant and a person of color.
I get the idea behind this post, and I understand why you feel this way, but these arguments don’t actually make sense, and I find this post really frustrating because it reeks of the “progressive” kind of misogyny you see on Tumblr all the time where people use the term ‘white feminist’ to bash any woman they dislike.
Don’t get me wrong–I also dislike Emma Stone, and it’s great that moc were nominated and that one of them won! But… they’re still men. What she said isn’t “white feminism” because feminism is about women. Being an “intersectional” feminist doesn’t mean that you should ignore issues that affect women because something positive happened to men of colour. A win for moc =/= a win for women. Marginalised or oppressed groups aren’t interchangeable. Racism and sexism are separate issues (that can intersect) and it’s incredibly detrimental to the feminist movement and to women as a whole to tell them they should stop complaining about their own oppression because another group either has it worse or had something good happen to them. (Because no matter what happens to other oppressed groups women are always told that they’re white feminists if they talk about misogyny.)
Besides, Emma Stone didn’t say Jordan Peele and Guillermo Del Toro’s nominations weren’t meaningful. She just pointed out the underrepresentation of women, which is an actual issue! Since 2012 there has been at least one moc nominated every year for best director at the Oscars, and five of them won. During that time, a single woman–Greta Gerwig–was nominated. In fact, the last time a woman won best director at the Oscars was in 2009. So like, I get that celebrating moc’s success is important, but can we also stop pretending that sexism doesn’t matter?…
A win for moc =/= a win for women.
This statement completely disregards the fact that WOCs do not have the luxury of disregarding race. This is precisely why intersectional feminism is necessary, and why white feminism–which is just a term for non-intersectional feminism that ignores the impact of race on WOCs–is necessary. This is the same line of thinking that has white women telling us that a win for white women is a win for all women, and it’s really really not. Not when WOCs are expected to stand at the back of the line and cheer everyone else on.
Do women need more representation and opportunities in the industry? Abso-fucking-lutely. Did it need to be said in a way that ignores and flattens the challenges that MOCs face? Hell no. Emma Stone isn’t being pilloried for the former but for the latter, and conflating the two is, guess what? Just another white feminist tactic.
This statement completely disregards the fact that WOCs do not have the luxury of disregarding race.
I didn’t say they did. What I meant is that men of colour and women (no matter their race/ethnicity) are still distinguished by their sex, so a win for moc doesn’t necessarily translate into a win for women because women of colour are still oppressed on the basis of their sex. Racism and sexism intersect for women of colour, but progress in terms of race/ethnicity (if I can phrase it this way) doesn’t mean the same progress is made against sexism, and it doesn’t even mean that the progress in terms of race that moc experience is also experienced by woc.
…and why white feminism–which is just a term for non-intersectional feminism that ignores the impact of race on WOCs…
That’s what it’s supposed to mean, but more often than not I see accusations of “white feminism” being made against women for reasons that have nothing to do with race. (Ex:
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a Nigerian feminist, was called a white feminist for saying that cis women and trans women don’t have the same experiences. Women who talk about reproductive issues, which affect woc even more severely than white women, are constantly called white feminists. A little girl at a Women’s march was mocked and had her picture captioned “white feminism” because her poster made a Harry Potter reference. Etc.) To me this post is just another example of this phenomenon because it suggests that not including men of colour in one’s feminism makes one a white feminist, which is absurd because men of colour are men, and feminism is about women.
If we want to be intersectional feminists, we have to talk about how race and sex intersect and how it affects women of colour. We can’t talk only about racism. (I mean, we can, but if we only talk about racism it isn’t feminism.)
Therefore, shouldn’t we criticize Emma Stone for not mentioning women of colour? Because the criticism she’s receiving right now isn’t about how she doesn’t understand the intersection of race and sex, and how it affects women of colour. People are saying that what Emma Stone said is white feminism because she disregarded the progress made by men of colour. They’re essentially calling her a white feminist for not including men of colour in her feminism, not for her poor understanding of the intersection of race and sex.
This is the same line of thinking that has white women telling us that a win for white women is a win for all women, and it’s really really not.
This is not what I meant at all, and I agree with you that this mindset is completely misguided. But I’m glad that you mention it, because I feel like OP’s arguments follow a similar reasoning, but applied to racism. A win for moc isn’t a win for all people of colour, and progress for moc doesn’t necessarily mean progress for woc. A lot of people also seem to believe that a win for any marginalised or oppressed group = a win for any other marginalised or oppressed group, which is just as misguided.
Did it need to be said in a way that ignores and flattens the challenges that MOCs face? Hell no. Emma Stone isn’t being pilloried for the former but for the latter
Then why aren’t people just calling her racist or ignorant if it was really just about her ignoring the challenges that moc face? (Because I agree that she did.) They’re calling her a white feminist and saying that she wasn’t intersectional. Intersectional feminism is about the intersection of sex, race, and class, and how this affects women who are marginalized or oppressed for other reasons than their sex. Why are people calling her a white feminist if the problem is that she disregarded issues face by moc? The terms and labels used to criticise her don’t make sense with their arguments.
Just say you don’t care about progress for WOC unless it helps white women, it saves time. News flash, Your Terfness, my precious womynly labia are as yellow as the rest of me. What helps alleviate racism is ABSOLUTELY a win for me, just like what alleviates sexism is a win for me, because I can’t parcel out racism and sexism separately. And if you don’t speak for WOCs that would be great too.
Just because some people misuse a term doesn’t mean it is automatically useless. It’s like terf that way. Also I’m a cis woman who does nothing but talk about reproductive issues on another blog which has gotten full support from trans people and harassment from terfs, so your attempt to paint trans people–actually trans women, who are we kidding–and their allies as enemies of reproductive rights falls kinda flat on me.
And no, you can’t erase the effect of race on MOC without doing the same to WOC, sorry. You don’t get to backdoor it like that.
something i feel doesn’t get highlighted enough when we circulate sylvia rivera’s “y’all better quiet down”speech to the crowd at what would become Pride in ‘73 is that one sentence where she talks about trans women who’ve gotten out of jail, who want to “fight…to become women of the women’s liberation”.
like, that’s such an insight and so valuable when we look at our history, and it flies so boldly in the face of people who claim trans women have had no role in the various women’s movements, gay movements, and so on–or have the temerity to say that we’ve actively hindered it. like, the evidence that we’ve been here the whole fucking time alongside gay men and women at the very least is right there on tape. to say nothing of stonewall. to say nothing of the compton’s cafeteria riot.
and rivera makes it so clear how much of a one-way street that was and continues to be. despite all that work on the street, all that direct action, all that investment not in a liberal “revolution” but in gay power–no one wanted to do anything for these women, who, when they needed help finding housing, healthcare, jobs, etc “write STAR, not the women’s group. they do not write women. they do not write men. they write STAR.”
and god damn if that dynamic hasn’t filtered into today’s politics. like, we’re still doing heavy lifting, we’re still taking the biggest hits from the state, from reactionaries, from anti-gay activists–and some gay folks are for real still out here trying to talk about how transition is and trans people are innately ‘anti-gay’. like, that takes so much nerve and deserves nothing but resentment and anger and direct action in response.
What’s crazy is I knew skip from before I knew re/ylo. We had a long argument because they came onto a post arguing that trans kids shouldn’t get puberty blockers or any kind of medical intervention related to their gender identity.
Oh ewwwww. I like them even less after knowing this if that’s possible. The turd had the nerve to ask me for help with some antis after telling me receipts i had on reylos being racist were just nitpicking. I’m glad about the way I sent them off by telling them exactly what I thought of them. They just get worse the more you dig, don’t they?
Skepticism isn’t a lack of support though. Proper diagnosis is important, and if you don’t test positive, it’s time to check for other potential causes, like overconsumption of foods that promote estrogen/testosterone count in the body. It’s always better to find the right answer than the answer you wanted.
Hey, just because you’re transgender, or you like to think of yourself as such doesn’t mean everyone has to fucking cater to you. You have no right to demand special treatment or respect from anyone. It’s disturbing how you think you deserve anything other than passive acceptance, because you don’t. So you want to become transgender? That’s great! Go for it. You do you. I got nothing, but respect for those who suffer gender dysphoria and wish to change themselves so they can be happy. I’m not going to treat you any differently than I would treat anyone else, and your asking me to do so proves just how selfish and/or entitled you really are.
Here’s how I think.
Respect is EARNED. Not GIVEN, nor DEMANDED.
If you’ve been given, or demanded respect out of no context but that you’re “Transgender,” you are a fucking idiot and need to lose all that respect instantly. Plain and simple.
So like, what do I have to do to EARN the right to have my correct name and pronouns used, and to make my own medical decisions? Because that’s all the op is saying, not to award trans people gold medals or anything.
Simple. Don’t demand anything. I have no issues with transgenders, just be a normal human being.
Also, you absolutely cannot force anything onto anyone. More often than not, they won’t care what you want to be called. They’ll call you what they know you by. They’ll act as if you’re still the same person.
Just because YOU changed doesn’t mean OTHERS have to change. That’s ludicrous.
Most of the panels don’t even “demand” anything other than to not be a nosy busybody, though? Do you find that particularly demanding?
Um like name changes are invalid forever, everyone! Remembering and using a new name is going to overload people’s synapses. Fuck your marriage, who cares if you goes by your husband’s name now.
In fact, all names are canceled forever; too demanding. We identify each other by scent the way nature intended.
Also you haven’t answered my original question, I notice. How does a person EARN the right to be called the right names and pronouns?
This just in: thewallstreetpaper is from now on known as Shitstain Fucktrumpet, and if they say we’re not to call them that they DEMAND us to give them respect, which they clearly haven’t earned.
L.J.'s Obsessions 