blad-the-inhaler:

*Tony Stark ogles photos of Natasha in her underwear*
FOR KIDS

*Peter Quill is explicitly threatened with rape in prison*
FOR KIDS

*Gamora is repeatedly called a whore*
FOR KIDDIES

*Tony asks if Bruce and Nat are “playing Hide the Zucchini”*
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

*Tony rolls in bed with a number of very shirtless women, bras flying everywhere*
BRING YOUR TODDLER

“You mewling quim”
SO CHILD FRIENDLY

*Stephen Strange asks his ex if she’s sleeping with a colleague*
YOUR OFFSPRING DEFINITELY NEED TO SEE THIS

*Happy can’t stop looking at Nat in her underwear as she pulls on the catsuit*
NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF TEN WILL FEEL AT ALL WEIRD

“When I say Penis, you say Parker! PENIS! PARKER! PENIS! PARKER!”
WE’RE ABOUT THOSE LITTLE TOY-BUYING WHIPPERSNAPPERS YO

*a fully-clothed woman exits Valkyrie’s bedroom*

WHOA HEY NOW SLOW YOUR ROLL PERVERT, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING THERE’S GONNA BE FAMILIES IN THOSE THEATERS, THINK OF THE BIBLE BELT, WE’RE NOT SHOOTING PORN FOR CHRISSAKES CLEAN UP YOUR ACT EVERY TIME A FEMALE SUPERHERO LIKES GIRLS AN ANGEL GETS SPANKED WITH TEN THOUSAND PUFFER FISH